00s R’n’B

00s R’n’B. It speaks to me. It is the type of music that I love, my happy place, my ‘I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure because I don’t have any shame about it’. I forgot my date of birth when making a doctors appointment the other day, but I will never forget the words to the whole of Christina Aguilera’s album, Stripped.

I’ve got a bit of a weird character, I think. I’m quite a loud person but then I don’t actually say (verbally) a huge amount other than to those who I’m really close to. I don’t do too well in my own company but then if I don’t get any alone time I feel overstimulated and get really snappy. Trying to find that balance is really difficult.

In this day and age, regardless of circumstance, life seems to be busy. Whether that be work, fitness, social lives, family commitments, caring for others – whatever. It’s rare I speak to anyone and they tell me how leisurely everything has been for them recently.

I love the idea of “me time”. I really do. I’ve even previously described myself as a massive advocate for it. Sometimes, though, it isn’t practical; despite what people say. Occasionally, I actually find myself feeling pressurised into relaxing – how ridiculous? Chris works very long hours for 3 days a week where he doesn’t even get home til 9:15pm. He’s exhausted. I’m exhausted. There just isn’t the time in that day to have “me time” – for either of us.

But I’m going to indulge myself for a moment. My perfect idea of “me time” is being completely submerged in the written word. I, as we all know, love to write. So I’d love to take some time to write and then follow it up with sitting for a good hour or so with a good book. And I’d have a nice hot coffee and a caramel shortbread. Yum. The reality? I don’t have time to do all of that. Especially not with any regularity. Quarterly at best. My posts get written when Daisy has gone to bed, the house is tidied up and that leaves little time for the reading. It also cuts out the coffee – unless I fancy being up all night.

What I have noticed, with Chris working long days is that I spend a lot of time with the adult things running through my head without anyone to bounce them off.

“The food shop needs doing.”

“I must get a wash load on…balls, that other wash load has been sat in the dryer for 2 days”

“When the washing up is done I need to do X,Y,Z.”

I need to dissociate from that sometimes, but they are all things that still need to be done. There’s no getting away from that. Music is another thing that makes my heart happy and last night I realised something. I whacked on the aforementioned Xtina (yep, who else remembers being that cool?) album and sang along (quietly – Daisy was asleep). All the while I was a busy bee getting all the usual bits done – lunches, washing up, cleaning the kitchen, ironing. This stuff regularly puts me in a foul mood, especially because when I’m tired. Before I knew it, everything was done. And I was in a good mood. The music gave me that re-charge I needed.

So I’ve got a new goal. “Me time” is brilliant. And if I can magic up that time, I’m there – armed with my book and typing fingers! But until then, I think I might just need a helping hand. A chance to zone out and take a deep breath. A thing that doesn’t require massive amounts of time I don’t have. Hello 00s R’n’B, that’s where you come flying back into my life! My Spotify recently played is now full of absolute corkers. Justified…I’m coming for you next, I’ve got some more laundry to do.

What’s your helping hand?

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And here’s the me (with some friends) that first fell in love with 00s R’n’B. Rocking those jeans. I’m the one in the middle – third from the right with the weird crisscross things on my jeans. My top also said ‘cutie’. You know it.

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