Are you body positive? What does that mean for you?
I think it’s a really ambiguous term.
Six years ago (to the day!) I began a transformation to lose weight and become healthy. I did that. In my typical way of lots of different things that grabbed my attention at the time. T25, Crossfit and running were the three biggest contributors to my health transformation – y’know, other than myself. They are all fantastic tools for a healthy lifestyle.
But I’ve had a baby since then. A big 10lb 1oz baby. A baby born by an emergency c-section. A procedure which leaves quite a big scar. A scar in a really bloody annoying place.
So this was me in March 2016 – one month before becoming pregnant with Daisy.
I was the MOST body confident I had been in all my adult life. I felt strong, lean and all my clothes fit well.
This was me 5 months post-Daisy. In June 2017.
I actually think it’s one of the only bikini pictures I’ve ever posted online of me.
Since that picture I’ve lost some more weight. Now I’m nearly a year after having Daisy and I’m about 1lb heavier than I was before her arrival. My body has changed a lot. I’ve got (as you can see from the above picture) a lot of stretch marks, though they’re not as red now. I’ve got loose skin. I have the c-section shelf. If you don’t know what that is, it’s like when someone wears knickers that are too tight and regardless of how little fat there is it looks as though there is an ‘over hang’. It can feel demoralising at times.
The thing is though. I don’t hate my body. But I don’t want to be this size for much longer either. I’m in that place where I’ll wear a big padded jacket without caring if it makes me look bigger, but I’d also love to be wearing a fitted top with confidence. So where do I go?
I don’t feel like I sit in the camp of just accepting my body as it is without wanting to better how it looks. But I also will not hate my wobbly belly because it has given me so much.
I guess my point is, is that it’s hard sometimes when you don’t feel like you fit on either side of a fence. But actually, it’s alright not to. It’s just fine to be somewhere in the middle. Where you will workout but then also eat a chocolate bar on the way home. Where you like your body but want to achieve more with it.
I guess to answer my own question I do see myself as body positive.
I want to keep that healthy relationship with my body because children take in so much. I don’t want Daisy to ever be questioning whether her body is ‘right’.
Where do you sit? Are you body confident? Do you struggle to find that confidence? I struggled for the longest time to accept my body. Which I think is why I could never hate how it looks again. It’s hard carrying that burden of dislike on your shoulders.
Here are my very different, very wonderful friends. I think every single one of them and the bodies which house them are beautiful.